If you need to talk yourself into it, it’s the wrong thing
How listening to my gut led me to cancel my Guatemala Yoga Retreat, and why it was the right thing to do
I had wanted to lead a yoga retreat in Costa Rica for about 10 years. In 2023, I connected with a tour company that specialized in yoga retreats. They reached out to me after I had posted on Instagram about a local retreat from which I had just returned. Working with that company was so easy, and everything fell into place. I never had any issues with them and ended up leading a retreat in January 2024. I wrote about that experience here:
Reflections on a Yoga Retreat 10 Years in the Making
It had been a few years since the previous retreat. I hold a three day weekend retreat twice a year in Western Massachusetts, and I was thinking about doing another international one. My life was moving through some big transitions (youngest going off to college, selling my house, leaving my marriage), but another tour company reached out to me and I started down the path of planning another retreat. I had a lot on my plate, but I figured this was the push that I needed to start planning.
This time, however, I didn’t really have a set destination in mind. I knew I wanted to keep the costs relatively low, but prices around the world have gone up dramatically in the last couple of years. Traveling to Europe was out of the question, and I didn’t want anything too far away, so Asia was also off the table. I was mostly looking at Central and northern South America.
There was a nagging feeling behind my heart at various steps along the way. The process wasn’t as easy with this company, as they had pre-planned trips that didn’t allow much flexibility. One one hand, pre-planning takes some of the pressure off me, trying to figure out what we’re going to do. On the other hand, I felt locked in with no room to breathe. I didn’t feel the ease that I’d had planning my Costa Rica trip, yet I pushed on.
Not listening to my gut
Over the years I have gotten pretty good at listening to my gut. When I don’t, I always regret it later. When I do, my body feels settled and grounded, and I feel physically right about the decision. It’s like all the pieces click into place.
I’m not sure why I ignored the constant tension I felt this time. Maybe it was because they reached out to me like the previous company had and I figured it would all work out. I’m not entirely sure. I could have worked with the previous company, but I had already started down this road so I kept going. Multiple times, I tried to convince myself that it would be fine, the trip would be fun and we’d have a wonderful experience like last time.
I had to work pretty hard talking myself into this trip. That should have been a huge red flag for me, and for some reason, I ignored it. After going through multiple locations, I finally settled on Guatemala. The country is beautiful, the travel isn’t too far, not too much elevation, and the cost was lower than many other places.
It felt like I had settled on Guatemala, rather than choosing it and being excited about it. I was excited about Costa Rica, and Guatemala seemed to just check off the boxes. It also ended up being about $1000 per person more expensive than I had wanted the trip to be. One thing that worried me is that not all of the meals were included. This was something that I kept bringing up and they assured me it would be okay. It never quite set right with me.
Listening to my gut
I finally launched the retreat and the gnawing behind my heart continued and escalated. It wasn’t normal anxiety, this was different. I felt a tightness in my throat, and my creativity had completely shut down. My blog posts weren’t as easy to write, as they normally flowed out of me. I was in a bit of a depression where I felt stuck and couldn’t move. I lost motivation for most things.
It finally dawned on me that I might need to cancel this retreat. It didn’t feel right and I was trying to force myself to be okay with it when I wasn’t. When I made that decision in my mind, I suddenly felt lighter, like I had been bound and the shackles finally released.
This was a huge green flag. My body responded immediately when I cancelled the trip. I felt my stuck energy release and I felt like I could breathe again. My body felt more at ease and my mind was at peace. In the future, I might run another international retreat, but now is clearly not the time.
I am sticking with running my local retreats for now in Western Massachusetts. I offer them twice a year, with the next one is coming up at the end of August. If you are interested in getting more focused with your yoga practice, I would love to have you there!
My Retreats
My retreats focus on connection with yourself and others. We practice yoga and meditation to feel more grounded in your body and mind. When you take a yoga class normally, the relaxed feeling stays with you for a bit, but then you return to your normal life and all of its stressors and responsibilities. When you are on retreat, you drop deeper and deeper into that relaxed state through the course of the weekend. By the end, you feel nourished and restored to factory settings (or as close as you can be).
I combine practicing yoga and meditation with time spent outdoors, walking in the woods and by a waterfall nearby. We do journaling, and have introspective discussions where we learn from each other. People have remarked that they feel comfortable and safe sharing, even when they don’t know many people. Strangers quickly become friends and return year after year to spend time together.
Click the button below to learn more about the upcoming retreat August 21-24, 2026 in Plainfield, MA.
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I don’t always remember put this graphic in, but it’s always true. All of my essays are 100% written by me, not AI. They are my thoughts, my words, and my experiences from over 30 years of practicing and teaching yoga. Thanks for reading! 💜 Janine
