Open Your Heart with LovingKindness Meditation

I first encountered Metta meditation, or LovingKindness meditation in the late 1990s in a tiny ashram in Monroe, NY. The then less known Krishna Das was leading Kirtan at the yoga retreat I was attending for the weekend, a form of call and response devotional singing that I was exploring early in my yoga practice.

At the end of each chant/song you sit quietly, feeling echoes of the vibrations that the singing elicits in your body. During that silence he would sometimes recite certain phrases, that I later learned was offerings of LovingKindness and peace into the world.

LovingKindness meditation is simple to do and creates deeply profound effects in the body. A regular Metta practice opens your heart, leaving you with loving feelings toward yourself and others. It doesn’t take any special equipment or special skills. You just need to practice.

How it works

If you struggle to keep your mind quiet during meditation, you might like this one. You recite certain phrases to yourself, silently in your head. I find this gives the mind something to do as you sit still.

You recite these phrases 4 times through. The first round you focus on directing the phrases toward yourself. The second round is toward someone you love. I find the third round sometimes challenging, but so important. You direct the phrases toward someone you struggle with. You send the fourth round to All Beings Everywhere.

What the phrases are specifically aren’t as important as the meaning behind them. There are many versions of Metta meditation phrases, but they all start as an offering with “May you.” These are phrases that I often use.

• May you be happy.
• May you be safe.
• May you have shelter and enough food to eat.
• May you feel deeply loved and give love freely.
• May you know peace.

In practice

Sit comfortably, either in a chair or on a rolled up blanket or meditation cushion. Have your hips higher than your knees and let your knees be supported. This makes it easier to sit with a straight spine and not have your hip flexors begin to scream. Let your hands rest in your lap.

Close your eyes and start to notice your breath. Let it move easily and freely through the nose without effort. Bring your mind into your body. I like to focus on my heart center for the first round. In this round the phrases start with “May I” since you are directing them toward yourself. After reciting the last phrase, silently to yourself, sit quietly and let the words wash through you.

During the second round, picture someone that you love. I visualize them sitting in front of me, but you can hold their image in your mind and/or heart. Whatever works for you. Imagine reciting these phrases directly to this person. This person might be living, they might not. What matters is you feel love toward this person/animal/being. Once you’re done, sit quietly and notice how you feel.

Round three is most challenging. These same phrases that you directed toward someone you love, you now direct toward someone you find challenging. It could be a family member, coworker, someone who cut you off in traffic, whoever comes to mind. Recite these phrases toward this person, seeing them as a person, deserving lovingkindness, even if they drive you crazy. Once you’re done, notice how you feel.

Direct the final round toward All Beings Everywhere. The idea is to send this loving energy out into the world. While it may not immediately bring peace to the world, you can be one peaceful person being the change you wish to see.

Why send out LovingKindness?

As I was teaching Metta meditation this morning, I was reminded why we send LovingKindness out to all beings everywhere. There are many people doing bad things out there in the world, why do they deserve my offerings of LovingKindness? It’s because my behavior is about me and affects me. I can feel compassion for them as flawed humans, just as I am a flawed human. I wish them well because that is how I wish to move through the world, with an open, compassionate, loving heart.

There is an aphorism that says anger is like poison that you swallow, expecting the other person to die. My feelings and how I behave in the world affects me more than it affects anyone else. Yes, I can hurt someone with my words, but often I am left just as hurt. Sending Metta to all beings acknowledges that we are all doing the best we can with the tools we have. Some people have shitty tools, but they still deserve love and kindness.

Each person that practices affects everyone in their orbit. A loving heart is contagious. Your warm feelings toward another person softens their heart. They pass that on to other people they interact with, and so on. If enough people practice, I believe that Metta will make the world a better place, one practitioner at a time.

Heart opening to ease anxiety

I have found that after a Metta practice I feel calm. My heart feels quiet, open, and full. Any anger, frustration, stress, or anxiety has left my body and I feel at peace. I have healed relationships with other people within myself. I have let go of old grudges, old hurts, and have found forgiveness for myself and others.

As I wrote about here, heart opening is to find ease in your heart. You can do it with yoga poses, or simply by bringing your attention to your heart center. Notice any sensations that you feel and let them be just as they are. After a Metta practice, you may notice more ease and less heaviness. More openness and less tension. It doesn’t take very long to create this profound change within yourself.

Anyone can do it. All you need to do is practice.

Monthly online Sangha

A couple of years ago I started hosting a monthly online Sangha where we share and discuss different life challenges through the lens of yoga. A Sangha is a community of like minded people, in this case, growth oriented people interested in understanding themselves better.

This month’s topic is Metta. The “assignment” is to practice this form of meditation at least twice a week and journal about it after. Notice how you feel and about your experience. On Sunday evening May 24th, we gather online to share, ask questions, and learn from each other.

Sometimes life can feel lonely, like you are the only person going through what you’re going through. The Sangha is to help you understand that you are not alone. We all feel the same things, and sharing your humanity helps you feel less alone.

Click the button below if you’d like more information on Sangha Sundays. You can drop in anytime.