The Magic of Journaling for Understanding Yourself
I have been journaling since age 10 after reading the Diary of Anne Frank. I have many journals, filled with my thoughts and “adventures,” dating back to 1982. Back then I would write about what happened each day, more like a log of events. In my teen years it was about the boys that I liked, relationships, trips with family and by myself. There were years in the middle when my kids were small that I got away from writing. I was Just. So. Tired.
Eventually, when I crawled out of young child parenthood and back to being able to think about other things, like myself, I reconnected to my journaling practice.
Since reconnecting about 10-12 years ago, my journaling has been less about day to day events, and more about dealing with my internal world. I journaled to process difficult emotions and feelings spurred by interactions with other people. I wrote letters to them (that I never sent) as a way to feel and then release these intense feelings. The more that I wrote, the less stuck I felt.
Stream-of-consciousness writing from the heart
Stream-of-consciousness writing takes practice and involves learning to let go. As a Type A “recovering perfectionist,” this wasn’t easy for me at first. To go from planning and controlling everything to finding a flow wasn’t natural. Letting my mind and pen flow, rather than planning what to say, involved letting go of self-judgment and just meeting whatever came out onto the page.
Like meditation or learning any type of skill, it took time, practice, and self-acceptance. And it does get easier and more natural after a while.
I think of it as writing from the heart, rather than writing from the head. What does your heart need to say that your head is shutting down or suppressing? Often the thoughts are young and irrational, but that’s the point. These words and thoughts are your anger and fears, your younger self trying to find their voice; they are not who you are. If you are writing things that make logical sense, you are writing from your head and bypassing your heart.
The Heart feels ALL the things
The heart holds trauma, memories, shame, regret, worry, and the younger versions of yourself. Your younger self retains your childhood hurts, fears (and poor coping skills), and can show up when you feel stressed, anxious, afraid, or angry as an adult. It is your younger self “driving the car” when you lose your shit over things that don’t matter, or that seem more insignificant than you are making them out to be. The younger self acts out because they are not rational, they are little and have unskillful coping behaviors for situations that they were too young to handle, but had to.
- Emotional neglect
- Physical and emotional abuse
- Having parents who were unskillful themselves and were stuck in their own traumas
- And more
Kids often have to deal with situations that seem scary to them, and if their adults are unable to handle their fears, kids make up stories about themselves: I don’t deserve to be loved because I am bad. My feelings are too big and I am alone with them. I am a burden, nobody wants me around, etc.
Journaling helps you see your stories
Journaling has helped me look at these stories and see them as stories. When you write from your heart, your pen flows out on the paper, and you learn what stories are driving your behavior. When you do this regularly, it frees your heart from its burdens and you feel happier, and lighter. You learn things about yourself that you didn’t know. You learn what you really want and need as an adult, what no longer serves you, and what beliefs you can release.
Being able to express myself and my heart in a way that will make sense to another person is the goal for any writer. It doesn’t matter whether you are writing a book, a blog post, or an email, you are trying to communicate effectively.
Taking the charge out of your writing and being able to write clearly and logically is better for communication. But, writing from the heart for yourself is where the true healing happens.
Putting it into practice:
Meditation in March– a month of meditation classes and journal prompts to help you feel more settled and connected to yourself. Explore your heart and the wisdom it has to offer you. When you clear the clutter (i.e. get the mind out of the way), you create space for the wisdom to bubble to the top. Click here to join the waitlist and get $10 off! Official registration opens Feb 19th.
Weekly Movement and Meditation at Purple Room Yoga! Join Janine every Monday, 8-8:40am EST for 20 minutes of gentle yoga movement to release stiffness and wake up the body, then 20 minutes of both guided and silent meditation. Students claim “it’s the best way to start the week!” Click here to sign up! All classes at Purple Room Yoga can be taken online live, or on demand.
