Emotional self-regulation when the world is on fire
Regardless of your political leanings, the world is on fire. Chaos is reigning supreme, and we mere mortals have to find a way to live amidst the chaos. The good news is that there are ways to avoid getting caught up in the swirl of the 24 hour news cycle.
When you can’t find anything to control in your life, you can always control your breath.
Let’s back up.
What is anxiety?
The sympathetic nervous system has two settings: upregulation and downregulation. When the sympathetic nervous system is upregulated, you are in a state of high alert. Fight/flight/freeze are different ways that the sympathetic nervous system prepares you for danger. This is your “lizard brain” taking over. It’s wired for survival and nothing else.
When there is actual danger, you feel symptoms of stress and anxiety: heart racing, shallow breathing, muscles tight. These serve the purpose of getting you out of danger as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, your body doesn’t know if you are being chased by a bear or simply have a deadline that you’re afraid you won’t meet. The reaction is the same.
The down side of this is that when the lizard brain takes over, you are unable to access rational thought. In order to get back to rational thinking, you need to downregulate the sympathetic nervous system and let the parasympathetic nervous system upregulate. This is Rest and Digest. I also learned it as “para makes you pause.” When you are calm, you can access rational thought because you are no longer worried about survival.
How to shift
Shifting from anxiety to calm can be challenging in the moment, but it does get easier with practice. Practicing nervous system regulation consistently makes it easier to access that state when you need it. I like to think about it as getting out of your head and back into your body.
The first step is awareness. If you don’t recognize that you are in an anxiety spiral, it’s tough to get out of it. Notice your particular symptoms. Does your heart race? Do you get sweaty? Does your focus get narrow? Do you find yourself ruminating on a particular topic? Notice what anxiety feels like in your body. Notice without judgement and become an observer of yourself.
Meditation as a tool
Meditation is one tool to get you into this moment. Many tools exist, like yoga, tai chi, journaling, walking, etc. When you find one that works for you, it’s easier to use it regularly.
Meditation teaches you to notice the present moment as it is and as you are. You don’t practice meditation to feel calmer, although that can happen. Meditation is a practice to teach the mind to observe what is happening right now.
Normally the mind likes to travel to the past or the future. You might be ruminating over something that happened 30 years ago, trying to change the outcome of what already happened. You might be playing the “what if game” of what could happen in the future (“what if this happens?” “What if that happens?”). Neither of these times are within our control. We only have control over the present.
Cultivating awareness over the present moment is how you reign the mind back in when it spirals out of control. When you practice meditation in times of low stress, you will have access to those skills during times of high stress. When you are able to step back from the spiral and notice that you are spiraling, that is the strength of meditation.
Creating space
There is power in the pause. When you notice your mental spiral, you are creating space between you and your thoughts. In that space there is room to pause and breathe. In that space you get to decide to continue to spiral, or to step out of it. Redirecting your mind to what you can control (like your breath), helps you regain control over your mind.
Things you can control:
- Turning off the news, especially before bed
- Feeling your feet on the floor
- Breathing slowly, in and out through the nose
- Walking away from a difficult conversation when you feel stressed/anxious so that you can revisit it when you feel calm
- Go for a walk, go to the gym, practice yoga, move your body
Most things are out of our control. Focusing on what you can’t control spurs anxiety. When you shift your focus to what you can control, that calms anxiety. It’s the shift that’s challenging, but with practice, it gets easier.
Simple meditation
There are many styles of meditation, just like there are many styles of yoga. Not every style is for every person, so finding something that you resonate with will keep you practicing. If it feels awkward or forced, you won’t stick with it.
Recently I wrote about Walking Meditation, which you can check out here:
The Value of Walking as Meditation and Walking Meditation
A simple seated meditation is watching your breath. No need to breathe in any particular way, simply notice what is. When you observe that your mind has wandered (and it will, over and over), bring your awareness back to your breath and start again.
Sit comfortably with your hips higher than your knees. You can sit in a chair, on a rolled up blanket or towel, or on a block. You can sit kneeling, cross-legged, or with your feet on the floor. Have your knees rest on something, the chair, the floor, or blocks. Sitting with your hips higher than your knees makes it easier to sit up straight. Having your knees supported prevents your hip flexors from straining.
When the body is comfortable, it’s less distracting. The mind doesn’t need extra distractions, it’s distractible enough. Notice your inhale and where you feel it in the body. You might observe the sensation at your nostrils, your throat, or your abdomen. Maybe somewhere else. Then notice your exhale, observing how your body responds to the breath leaving.
The more you practice observing, the easier it is to apply those skills when you are off the mat. When your mind starts to swirl, you can redirect your attention to your breath, or feeling your feet on the floor. You can focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t. The more you do that, the more it becomes your default.
I used to “what if” myself all day long. Now these thoughts rarely enter my mind. I don’t have any special superpowers, I’ve simply spent many hours on my mat, learning to create a bit more space between me and my thoughts.
You can too.
Other essays on meditation
Why is Meditation So Hard?
Meditation 101: For When Your Brain Doesn’t Stop Talking
Getting to the Heart and Mind of Meditation
For more yoga off the mat, check out Sangha Sundays, an online community to deepen your understanding about your mind and yourself through the lens of yoga. Learn to be kinder to yourself and let go of the stories that hold you back. Click the button below for more details!
Read my book Living Yoga: One Yoga Teacher’s Journey to Surrender about how applying yoga principles to my life changed how I felt about myself for the better. Click the button below for more information or to purchase!
