This is Why You Actually CAN Meditate
My first real voyage into meditation as a practice separate from yoga asana, was during my first yoga teacher training in 1999. During the 10 day training we sat for meditation twice a day for 30 minutes. We usually started with guidance then were left in silence for the rest of the time.
I found it so challenging at first. My mind was racing during the 5:30pm sessions, after a day of learning and practicing yoga. I struggled to stay awake during the 5:30am sessions. Before breakfast. Before tea. Before anything else. I am not a morning person…
During the sessions my mind would wander constantly. I would become distracted by the pain in my knee or the completely dead feeling of my feet as I sat cross-legged. I wasn’t “supposed to” move, so I endured the discomfort and my stress levels rose. I kept yelling at myself (inside my head) for letting my mind wander. I’m not “supposed to” let it wander, why does it keep doing that?! I should be better at this!
The problem
The biggest problem was not fully understanding what meditation actually is. Like many people, I figured I was supposed to just drop into this bliss state and hang out there for awhile. I would will my mind to stop talking and float in the silence. I should ignore my sleeping feet and my aching knee and just push on, because I’m supposed to be completely still except for my breath.
A big NO to all of this.
The biggest impairment to my meditation practice was that I didn’t understand what meditation actually is. I didn’t figure it out during that training, but did years later. I’m here to save you the frustration I went through and give you the Cliff Notes.1
What’s actually true
Meditation is a practice, not a perfect. The benefit comes from noticing that your mind has wandered (because it will), coming back to your breath, and starting again. It’s the coming back that matters. Your mind will wander, it’s what it does. With practice, it wanders less.
Meditation is a tool to help you focus on what is happening right now. The mind likes drama, often focusing on events that happened in the past, or on what could happen in the future. Noticing what is happening right now is not nearly as exciting. Your breath moves through your nose. You might hear sounds. You might feel sensations. Your thoughts might be swirling.
The key is to notice without attachment. Allow all of this to happen and observe. It’s in the allowing that gives you peace. When you fight or resist the thoughts (like I used to), it creates more stress and aggravation. When you know that the thoughts will come and pass through, and that it’s normal and okay, it creates less stress.
Becoming the observer
We are not our thoughts. We have thoughts, but they are just thoughts. They are wisps of electricity, chemicals, and data floating through our minds. When you become an observer of your thoughts, it creates space inside. The thoughts become less intense when you notice them from a distance, giving you perspective.
Have you ever thought something and asked yourself, “where did that come from?! I don’t actually believe that.” Many of our thoughts come from other people’s words or beliefs. Parents, teachers, and childhood friends had beliefs that we absorbed as true in order to survive our childhood. The majority (if not all) of these beliefs are not actually true.
Observing these thoughts gives you the space and perspective that you need in order to determine for yourself whether these beliefs are true. Meditation helps you get to know yourself and your thoughts by cutting through all the “clutter” and getting to what is actually you. You know yourself best and are your best guide.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is reported, or because it is in your scriptures, or in accordance with your own reasoning, or by your teacher. ~The Buddha
Power of acceptance
The idea of acceptance can elicit confusion, but is where the most stress relief happens. To accept something doesn’t mean you condone it, you simply accept that at this moment, this is happening. Accepting something as true gives you peace because you are no longer fighting it. The fight is what causes stress, when you let it go, you find peace.
If you don’t like what is happening, you can still accept that it’s happening, then choose a different path. If someone is talking to you in a way that you don’t like, you don’t have to take it, but you can accept that this is how they choose to talk to you. You then have the choice to take it, speak up, or walk away. Acceptance gives you more power over yourself.
Accepting people as they are also gives you peace. I struggled for many years (decades) wishing that my mother was different than she is. When I was finally able to let go of the fantasy and accept the reality, I could choose how I interacted with her. This gave me peace, after decades of anguish. She is still as she is, and I can choose when or if I interact with her. Acceptance instilled in me the ability to do that, it gave me agency over myself.
Meditation support
If you don’t believe you can meditate, check out the free eBook “3 Myths About Meditation and Why it’s Easier Than You Think!” I bust 3 common myths that might be holding you back. When you understand what meditation is and isn’t, it’s easier to try. Nothing holds us back more than our own beliefs.
I teach meditation twice a week online. Mondays is Movement and Meditation, 20 minutes of gentle movement and stretching to prepare the body to sit, then 20 minutes of both guided and silent meditation. Fridays is Vinyasa Yoga and Meditation, a full 60 minute flow yoga class followed by 15 minutes of guided and silent meditation. The perfect way to start and end each week! Click the button below for a 10 Day Free Trial to Purple Room Yoga, an online yoga studio for active adults over 50 who want to stay active for the long term.
To explore meditation more fully, consider attending a 3 day Yoga and Meditation retreat! I run them twice a year, with the Yoga Book Club Retreat coming in January 2026. Click below for more information. Space is limited and spots are going fast!
1 To all non-GenXers, Cliff Notes were these yellow books that explained literature in a way that made sense. They were supposed to accompany your reading of Moby Dick, the Scarlet Letter, or Shakespeare, but for many they were how you got through high school english classes. I never knew where to get them so I just struggled through. In terms of meditation, the wisdom I gained from my suffering will hopefully relieve you of yours.
