Quiet and stillness on the darkest day of the year
Embracing the energy of Winter and letting it guide us to wisdom
The Winter Solstice is the beginning of our darkest season: Winter. Where I live in Massachusetts, we often have snow, freezing temperatures, and lots of darkness. While the Winter Solstice is the darkest day of the year, it also signals the move toward more light.
Don’t begrudge the darkness and the hibernatory energy that comes with it. Like with the Taiji symbol, there is Yin within Yang, and Yang within Yin. Darkness moves into light which moves into darkness. You can’t have one without the other.
Winter’s energy is inward. All I want to do is hunker down, drink tea, and read a good book. I have no desire to move quickly or rush around. I want to be quiet. That’s what Winter is about. It’s about doing inward and connecting to yourself in a more meaningful way.
No light without darkness
The only thing guaranteed in life is the fact that things constantly change. The seasons, the days, our moods, etc. And this is a good thing. Just as the feeling of joy is temporary, so is the feeling of sadness. We can’t have pleasant moods without also experiencing the unpleasant ones. Neither is permanent, so enjoy them while you have them.
During these darker months before the light really kicks in, what if you embraced the dark rather than complaining about it? What you believe matters. If your mind is filled with complaints and you wallow in them, that’s your world. If your mind is filled with gratitude, wonder, and curiosity, it doesn’t feel as bad. You still have all of the emotions, but instead of meeting them with resistance, you find acceptance. In that acceptance, you find peace.
Darkness is a beautiful backdrop for introspection. It elicits quiet and solitude, a time to slow down and reflect. What if you said less and listened more, not only to others, but to your own heart? My heart spent years screaming at me and I just wouldn’t/couldn’t listen. Now that I do, she doesn’t have to scream. She can speak to me quietly and gently, and I hear her. I am open to hearing her.
Listening to your heart
How do you listen to your heart? You get still and quiet. This is not my default setting. I spent my 20s and 30s scheduling every moment of my day to the minute. If something delayed me, like traffic, I was screwed. I felt chronically stressed, in a rush, and always looking forward. Never inward.
For me, stillness started by adding “white space” into my schedule each day. It was time where nothing was scheduled and I could have a moment to breathe and catch up. Sometimes I used it for yoga or meditation. Other times I scheduled a doctor’s appointment that I had been putting off. Sometimes I did nothing.
The point was to give myself the opportunity to slow down and give back to myself. When you find stillness, you can begin to listen to your heart. Your heart is the quiet voice inside you that tells you what you are feeling right now. It might be a gentle sensation in the center of your chest, or your throat. It might not be so gentle when you finally stop moving.
Once you’ve identified whatever it is that you find, listen. Not just with your ears, but with your awareness and being. Images from your past may rise to the surface. They might be memories, or people, or simply feelings. Let it unfold without interfering. The wisest insights always arise for me in stillness, never when I am trying to actively solve a problem.
Set down the struggle
So much stress in our life is caused by creating struggle or resistance. I love the Michael Singer quote:
Stress is what happens when you resist life’s events.
If you accept life as it is, there is no stress. If you let go of your resistance to what is happening and set down the struggle, you find ease. This doesn’t mean you stop fighting and just give up. It means that you accept that this moment is exactly as it is.
It snowed this morning. I could complain about the snow and cold, or I could accept that the snow fell. When I went outside, I brushed off my car, and went to the library to write this post. I felt ease and calm as I did, because I wasn’t wishing that things were any other way than they were.
I could have resisted the snow, grumbling as I put on my boots and scarf, complaining about what an inconvenience it is. My mood would have soured, my shoulders tense, and I might not have left the house at all, leaving me feeling pissed that my plans had been ruined. Instead, I dealt with the day that had been handed to me. No stress.
Winter is a time for ease
Winter is the perfect time to practice acceptance and ease. From a place of ease, you can make plans to change whatever doesn’t suit you. New Year’s Resolutions often fail because they come from a place of fear, shame, or self-loathing. They also fail because you try to make huge sweeping changes during a time of inward energy.
When you embrace the darkness, set down your struggle, and find ease, you can begin to notice beliefs and habits that no longer serve you. You can imagine what you want for yourself in your life and your health.
Feel into what might be possible to change right now by listening to how your heart reacts to your ideas. If your heart or gut clenches at the thought of going to the gym 5 days a week, that’s information. If drinking one more glass of water per day feels easy, that’s also information. Small changes are less overwhelming and tend to last longer. Winter is the time for small change, or no change, but planning ways to implement the changes little by little over time.
Meditation and journaling were made for Winter. Although clearly these practices can be done year long, this time of year is particularly hospitable. I love giving myself time for longer holds during my yoga practice, and sittle quietly after to see what shakes loose. I have let go of many unhelpful beliefs about myself and others this way. It has lead to clarity, calm, and feeling grounded, despite the chaos “out there.”
Take 5 minutes to sit quiet and still and see what comes. Feel the peacefulness of snow gently falling to the cold earth while you are warm inside with your tea. Allow that comfort to penetrate your cells, and take that with you, into the rest of your day.
Yoga is a practice that happens both on and off the mat. What we learn on the mat we take with us off the mat and into our lives. As we age, it’s as important to focus on your insides as it is to focus on your outsides.
Yoga builds strength, balance, and mobility, but also helps you meet yourself where you are. It allows you to see the stories you tell yourself that hold you back, both in relationships with others and yourself.
If you are interested in exploring some of these principles, join Sangha Sundays. This online group meets once a month to discuss yoga related topics and how to integrate them into your life. Paid subscribers get a discounted rate on a subscription to Sangha Sundays, as do Purple Room Yoga class subscribers.
Click the button below for more information or to sign up! Our next meeting is Sunday, December 28 at 6:30pm EST where we are setting our intentions for the year by discovering our word.
