How Yoga Got Me Through 3 Huge Life Transitions
Moving my office, home, and my youngest child to college and becoming a single empty nester
At the end of August, I had three major life changes in 6 days: I moved my acupuncture office to a new space, I moved from my house to an apartment by myself, and moved my youngest son to college. It was quite a week.
People would ask me if I was stressed about the upcoming moves and my answer was always the same: no. While there were a million things to do, and I had lists upon lists, I never felt stressed. Yoga has taught me to take things as they come. Long gone are the days of fighting the “what ifs” in my brain. I control what I can and let go of the rest.
The moves
Of all the move, my office was easiest since I only had to pack and unpack crates from the moving company. Setting up my new treatment rooms took about 5 or 6 hours, but was relatively painless. I am an employee so I wasn’t part of organizing this move, just did my part.
Moving to my new apartment, sans husband, took more effort. My son and I moved many boxes in our cars little by little, then I rented a U-Haul for the furniture and other big stuff. Plus I had help from 2 Jacks (literally, they are both named Jack), which made all the difference. I was ready to be free from my marriage and this was my first step. While going up and down a flight of stairs was tiring, but having help from the Jacks and my son helped.
The third move was in some ways the hardest, since my baby was going off to college. I got to spend time with him in the car and throughout the day, which was special. Going up and down three flights of stairs to his dorm room, not so much. So. Many. Stairs. Saying goodbye was rushed since he had to get to an event, but I got a big hug and a few texts since then. All good.
How yoga helped
Strength, stamina, body mechanics
I credit my stamina, strength, and body mechanics to my yoga practice. I teach yoga 2 hours every day and do my own practice once a week. Yoga poses have specific alignment principles to guide you in your poses. Cultivating body awareness is a huge benefit of practicing yoga. The body awareness you develop on the mat you take with you off the mat.
Through practicing yoga (and pilates) I have a strong core which allowed me to lift heavy boxes without strain. Using my glutes going up all those stairs kept my calves from screaming. At the end of each moving day I stretched to release tension from the muscles that had worked so hard.
Stretching and strengthening are like the Yin and Yang of yoga. They balance and enhance each other.
Mindset
In addition to the physical preparedness, yoga also gave me the mental capacity to handle all of the logistics without feeling overwhelmed by them. As I said, I didn’t feel stressed or anxious. Not in the weeks leading up to the moves or during the moves themselves. I was able to focus my mind on what needed to get done that day and let go of future thinking. When today was done, I planned how I would handle the next move.
Although there was planning involved, I also practiced Non-Attachment, or Aparigraha. I was able to hold my plans loosely, allowing things to unfold as they did. I gave space for the moves to take as long as they needed to without being attached to a certain time frame. This gave me permission to take my physical needs into account, and those of my helpers. I controlled what I could and let the rest go.
Listening to my body, resting and eating when I needed to
Listening to your body is something I teach and practice. When you practice yoga poses, it’s up to you to listen to your body. Yoga should be practiced with strength, but without struggle or strain. Knowing when you need to rest and knowing when you can push on is what listening to your body is all about.
Have You Ever Wondered What it Means to “Listen to Your Body?”
The body holds incredible wisdom, but the mind often overrides the body’s signals. When my energy started to wane, I knew I needed to eat. I suggested we take a break to have lunch and refuel so that we could finish the move and not feel cranky, irritable, and exhausted. I know I am not the only one who gets “hangry” (hungry → angry).
I reminded everyone (and myself) to drink water too. Moving is sweaty work and replenishing fluids is not always top of mind. Noticing when I was thirsty and actually listening to that saved us during each day. When you are fed and watered, you feel less stressed.
Being present and not worrying about the future
Anxiety lives in the future. When you focus solely on the future, you feel anxious because you can’t control the future. You can plan for it and create lists of things to get done so you don’t forget, but in the end, you can only control what is happening right now. And that control is limited to you and your actions.
Creating a list is something I can control. Doing things on the list is also what I can control. How long I have to wait to pick up the reserved U-Haul is out of my control. Whether it will rain on moving day is out of my control. I am grateful it was sunny and pleasant on all three days.
Being present and taking each moment as it comes is practicing yoga. Whether I am on the mat or off, I can be present with what I am doing. Focusing on one thing at a time and giving it my full attention keeps me out of anxiety. I can feel calm and grounded. Dharana, the 6th limb of yoga, is Concentration. When I practice Savasana/Corpse pose, it’s to cultivate mental focus and so that I can pay attention to one thing at a time.
Our attention spans have shortened and mental focus is going the way of the Dodo. Practicing Concentration improves your ability to focus on one thing at a time. The more you practice, the easier it gets. Start with short stints and work your way up. It can take years to master, even lifetimes, but any time practicing is time is well spent.
Managing grief
Even though I am loving my new found freedom and it feels amazing, there is still loss. The loss of my former life and the loss of my younger son no longer being around. He and I are very close so not hanging out with him every night is a loss.
Yoga has taught me to feel my feelings rather than stuff them down. Rather than eating my feelings or avoiding them, I am able to sit with them and feel the loss. I can hold both joy and grief at the same time. I love my new life, and I miss my son. Both are true and each feeling deserves space to exist.
Yoga for mind and body
Yoga encompasses a group of practices that involve both the body and the mind. Physical poses (Asana) is just one aspect of yoga, and how most people make their way into the other practices. Those include breath work, meditation, and shifts in mindset. However you practice yoga, all the practices weave together to help you feel more confident and comfortable in your skin. What you practice on the mat, you take with you off the mat and into your life.
Join me on the mat! I teach online yoga classes for active adults over 50 who want to stay active with yoga. Build strength, improve balance, increase mobility, and settle your mind. I offer live classes that are recorded and can be taken on demand whenever you like. Click the buttons below to see the full schedule of classes and check out the video library.
