How to Journal Away the Hard Stuff in Your Life
With an appetizer of meditation point you in the right direction
One of my favorite ways to handle “hard things” in life is through journaling after meditation. After 30 years of practicing yoga I am finally getting closer to handling hard things right off the bat, but it’s still a work in progress. As am I.
My typical pattern is the following:
- Something difficult happens and I have feelings about it.
- The feelings are uncomfortable so I numb myself with food, games on my phone, busyness, or numerous other things.
- I notice I am numbing and decide “this sucks.” Numbing doesn’t feel better. I recognize that I need to just feel the feelings. Ugh.
- I pause, sit, and feel into the uncomfortable feelings. Meditation allows me to notice what is happening in my body and mind right now.
- I write in my journal to get to the bottom of things and fully understand what’s going on. I get there eventually.
Even a yoga teacher can fall into destructive habits, as I am human, afterall. What matters is that I am better at noticing my patterns so that I can do something constructive instead of destructive. Through years of practice, I have learned to recognize the signs that I’m out of sorts and can shift out of my unskillful coping strategies (aka numbing) sooner.
Meditation to bring you back to yourself
Meditation is an effective tool to help you feel your feelings and notice what is happening in your body and mind. It gets you out of your head and connected to your Heart Center (or Throat, or Stomach, or wherever you feel your emotions physically).
As someone who is Type A and always on the go, I am skilled at using “busy” as a numbing technique. I find meditation forces me to stop moving and get in touch with my feelings. This is the first step out of numbing. Numbing is avoidance. It takes more effort the longer we do it, sinking you deeper. Addictions grow over time, until you recognize that they aren’t serving you, or worse. The way out is through feeling your feelings.
I hate that that’s true. Sigh.
It but for me, and maybe you, meditation is not the whole picture, it merely sends me in the right direction. Meditation reconnects me with myself rather than the disconnection that numbing provides. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, “the way out is in.”
Journaling to connect the dots
Once I am back to feeling, I can notice what comes up. My body might feel hot if I feel angry. Anger is usually a front for fear or grief, so I sit longer and allow what’s underneath the anger to surface. Maybe tears come because I finally feel the sadness or grief. Images or phrases might surface, and this is when I turn to journaling.
Journaling allows you to understand what you are feeling. First you feel, then you write. Don’t think, just write. Stream of consciousness writing helps you tap into what is below the surface so that you understand why you feel the way you do. Sometimes it’s obvious, like someone yelled at you, but what might not be obvious is why you feel the way you do.
If you experienced a chaotic childhood, your nervous system might be sensitive to yelling. You might be a perfectionist so being yelled at pulls at your insecurities of not being enough or feeling like a failure. Journaling helps you step out of your logical brain and tap into your amygdala which deals with fear and stress. It’s the survival aspect of your brain and where you often get stuck when you feel stressed or anxious. Journaling about what is happening helps you down regulate the amygdala and get out of the stress/fear response.
Through journaling I often get clarity on why I feel the way I feel. It helps me connect the dots. Often I am reacting from a young place, where Little Janine felt unseen, unheard, or unimportant. Seeing the situation through that lens allows Adult Janine to rise to the surface and give Little Janine what she actually needs.
Meditate then journal
I like the combination of mediation then journaling because meditation puts me in the right space to write. When I get out of my head and into my body, I can tap into what is actually happening, as opposed to the story that I am telling myself in my head. I find it helpful to write out the story so that I can see it as a story I am telling myself, and not actually true.
Meditation doesn’t need to be long process. While yes, you can sit for an hour, I find for these purposes, 5-15 minutes is plenty of time to get back to myself. Experiment for yourself and see what kind of time frame you need. You might need more time or less. There is no magic amount of time that works for everyone. It will also depend on how worked up you are when you start.
A simple way to meditate
Find a comfortable seated position. You might sit in a chair, on a cushion, or on a rolled up beach towel or blanket. Set yourself up to be as comfortable as possible so that you can focus on your feelings and not be distracted by your knees, hips, or back. Sit with your hips higher than your knees. Let your knees be supported on the chair, some blocks, or the floor. I like to kneel. Other people like cross-legged. Feel free to sit in a chair with your feet on the floor. Again, there is no one-size-fits-all way to do this, do what feels best for you.
Once you are comfortable, close your eyes and notice your breath. No need to breathe in any particular way, simply observe your body breathing for you. Tune into the sensation of breathing, let go of “talking” inside your mind. I like to visualize a giant knob that I use to turn down the volume of my thoughts.
Once you feel settled, bring your attention to your Heart Center (center of your chest) and notice what you feel. As I mentioned earlier, you might hold your feelings somewhere else. Bring your attention to where you feel emotional tightness or restriction.
Give the sensation permission to exist. Don’t try to fix it or change it in any way, allow it to be and observe with curiosity. The sensation might intensify. It might change location. It may also fade over time. If at anytime it becomes overwhelming, go back to your breath to reset.
Journal it all out
Once you feel grounded and connected to the sensation, take out your journal, and your favorite pen, and begin to write. I find pen to paper to be the most effective, as you stay connected to your body, but if you prefer to type, type away.
Don’t plan what you write or make an outline. This is not an essay that has a beginning, middle, and end. This is writing from your heart, not from your head. It will be messy, possibly irrational, maybe full sentences with punctuation, or maybe not. You might use bullet points or poetry. You might doodle or draw. Whatever is inside of you, let it out on the page. There is no wrong way to journal.
If you feel stuck, start with a journal prompt. I like writing letters (that I never send) so that I can direct the journaling toward someone or something. Having someone you “speak” to helps. Sometimes I write letters to Little Janine, sometimes a family member or someone with whom I am struggling. Sometimes I write to myself from Unconditional Love (a practice that Elizabeth Gilbert has used for decades that I find incredibly helpful).
The prompt can be a simple as “I feel sad/angry/scared…” and start writing about what that feels like in your body. Eventually that may morph into why you feel that way as other things rise to the surface.
Write until you are done. That might be 5 minutes, or 25 minutes, or more, or less. When you feel stuck on what to write next, you are done. Take a few moments to breathe and notice how you feel. If you can rest for a moment or have some tea (or both), all the better. Give yourself time to transition from this space back into your day.
Other helpful posts on journaling and meditation:
The Magic of Journaling to Understand Yourself
Pouring Myself Out Onto the Page to See What’s There
Why is Meditation So Hard?
Meditation 101: For When Your Brain Doesn’t Stop Talking
Get Support with Journaling
Once a month I host an online group called Sangha Sundays. Sangha means community of like-minded people, learning and sharing together. Connecting with a community of people to explore the teachings of yoga off the mat is what Sangha Sundays are all about. Yoga teaches you to live with more peace and ease in your mind and heart. Yoga teaches you to be kinder to yourself and others. This is yoga off the mat. When you practice yoga off the mat, you practice strategies that create less stress and anxiety in your life, and give you control over your thoughts and actions. Taking your yoga practice into your life is the whole reason to practice yoga.
With Sangha Sundays, I send out a journal prompt related to a particular topic at the beginning of the month, then we discuss it online at the end of the month. Deepen your connection with yourself and learn the stories you tell yourself. For more information on Sangha Sundays, click the button below.
