Are Your Thoughts Harmful to Yourself and Others?
If you didn’t read last week’s essay, How to Move Toward Ease in 10 “Simple” Steps, click the link to read! I am doing a 10 week exploration of the first 2 limbs of yoga, the Yamas and Niyamas, to help us find the balance of strength and ease when we are off the yoga mat. Practicing yoga off the mat is the goal with this series.
My early days
When I was a young yogini, in my early 20s, I fell into yoga at the suggestion of a dance teacher of mine at the time. I quickly fell in love with the structure and precision of the Iyengar practice. It appealed to my perfectionism and need to do things “correctly.”
Over time, I started to feel very stuck in my head. In every pose, I would run down the litany of alignment instructions and would basically just spin through them, self-correcting one body part at a time until the next pose.
When I discovered Vinyasa yoga, I felt free. Flowing from one pose to the next using the breath appealed to the dancer in me and I found new love in my yoga practice.
This style felt like home. I could get out of my head and just go with what my body already knew how to do. I wasn’t in any pose long enough to obsess over my alignment. My body knew what to do by this point, and I could trust it to breathe and flow.
I didn’t know it at the time, but switching yoga styles, was my first step toward Ahimsa, or Non-Harming. Practicing yoga should relieve stress and frustration, not cause it. For me, switching styles gave me peace and ease in my body and mind. I could be less critical and judgmental of myself with this yoga practice, and literally go with the flow.
I’m not saying that Iyengar yoga is bad. My stepmother practices it every day and finds great benefit. It just wasn’t the right fit for me. I also benefited from it initially, but eventually it wasn’t helping my mindset. My perfectionism was too strong at the time and bulldozed over my enjoyment.
What is Ahimsa?
Ahimsa, or Non-Harming, is the first of the 5 Yamas, the first limb of Yoga. It’s different from “Thou shalt not kill,” in the sense that harm can be caused in many ways, not just through murder. It’s possible to cause harm to others, and also to yourself, through varying degrees and various methods. Ahimsa refers to not causing harm in thought or action; not just what you do, but also how you think.
I discussed causing internal harm in my post “Is there a Verbal Abuser Living Inside Your Head?” You can cause yourself a lot of harm simply with the thoughts in your head. Judgment and criticism, whether directed toward others or yourself, feels bad emotionally. How often to you feel better after criticising yourself? I would bet not very often. Perhaps you are left with regret after zinging someone with a snappy comeback; the recipient probably doesn’t feel too good either. These are both examples of causing harm with your words.
Practicing Ahimsa, as far as I’m concerned, goes beyond not causing harm, that’s just step 1. Take it one step further and be kind. Kindness is never wasted. The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying “Be kind whenever possible. it is always possible.” And it is. You never know what is going on in someone else’s mind or life. Regardless of how they behave toward you, you can always be kind.
You can only control your behavior. Kindness creates a calm in your body, and a settled feeling in your heart. Kindness leads to compassion, and our common humanity. Don’t forget to direct that kindness inward, not just outward. Self-kindness is also practicing Ahimsa.
How you move through the world
Many people in the yoga world apply Ahimsa to how they eat and what they wear as well. That’s why so many people who practice yoga are vegan. I was vegan for about 18 months in my late 20s. I was horrified by the treatment of food animals in the United States, where I live, and vowed never to eat animals again in my practice of Ahimsa.
After about a month, I got the most intense steak craving I had ever had. It wouldn’t go away no matter how much Rice & Beans I ate. It was such a constant craving that I finally gave in and had a steak. Throughout my vegan days, I would have pretty consistent cravings for meat, and fish (I was dying for salmon sushi). It didn’t feel like my ice cream cravings, these cravings were physical and came from a foundational place in my body (I was probably severely vitamin B12 deficient, and maybe iron, and protein as well).
I was gaining weight, feeling low energy, my skin was terrible, I always felt bloated, and I was depressed. When I started eating meat again, I felt almost instantly better. Eating zero animal products, which many people do really well, was harming my health. It wasn’t right for me.
Today I continue to listen to my body and honor what makes it feels good. I eat foods that give me energy, fuel me, and help me feel my best. While I still occasionally have cravings for ice cream, they are usually emotional cravings rather than physical ones. I surrender to them in moderation.
There is no one size-fits-all way to practice Ahimsa. You do the best you can. By avoiding harming animals by eating them, I was causing harm to myself. I have chosen not to harm myself and instead “do good” in the world in other ways. I’m not perfect, and that’s okay. I don’t digest legumes well, or many grains, so this works best for me. I am not going to tell you how to eat, you need to do what makes you feel best and causes the least amount of harm to you.
The bottom line
The bottom line is you do the best you can with the tools you have. Sometimes you need to zoom out and see what your thoughts and actions are doing in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes you need to zoom way in and control what you can control to the best of your ability. It’s mostly about finding balance, causing the least amount of harm possible.
Notice your thoughts throughout the day. How critical are you of yourself? Are you constantly judging others to make yourself feel better? Are you constantly judging yourself and feeling bad when you don’t live up to your own expectations?
Join me in the comments on Substack or Facebook
Join the conversation either on Substack or in my private Facebook Group. Substack is public, Facebook is private, you can do either or both!
Follow any or all of these prompts:
- Write 3 kind things about yourself, whatever that means to you.
- Ask a specific question. Is there is something that you struggle with and want/need support regarding practicing Ahimsa?
- Share a time when you intentionally/unintentionally caused harm to someone (you can include yourself) and rewrite how you could have practiced Ahimsa in that situation. Use this as an opportunity to forgive yourself. We all have these moments. Forgiveness heals.
