5 Gifts that Reduced My Anxiety and Helped Me Love Myself
I have been in a 30 year relationship with yoga. When I started at age 23, I was steeped in anxiety, perfectionism, and self-loathing. I was simultaneously too much and not enough, and struggled with depression on and off for many years.
Yoga has been the one constant throughout my adult life that gave me a break from all that. I had years when I practiced daily, sometimes multiple times a day, mostly pre-kids. I also had years when I practiced very little, like post-kids, when they were little and I barely had time to myself. I have also had years, like now, where things feel more balanced.
Over the years, yoga has given me many gifts. I share these with my students every day when I teach, though maybe not so explicitly. Theses gifts come with the practice. They grow as your practice grows.
The gift of movement without judgment
When I was a dancer, I was highly critical of my body. Dance teaches you to think this way. Your leg needs to go higher, you need to pirouette more times, you need to move bigger and take up more space, while staying physically small and lithe. I was never lithe, but when I was dancing, I felt a freedom in movement. I constantly strived to be better, since I was never good enough. No matter how hard you work or how gifted you are, you never feel like enough. Ask any dancer.
With yoga, you are always enough. You practice with the body that you have, no matter what it looks like or how many years you have under your belt. The beauty of yoga is you practice for yourself, no one else. You don’t have to satisfy a quota, there is no finish line, there is no achieving. You only need to be in this moment.
Yoga on social media doesn’t always look that way, but we are all a product of our environment. Working toward Headstand or Crow pose might be part of your yoga practice, but Child’s pose and Savasana are equally important and valuable. There is no one-size-fits-all with yoga. You challenge yourself only as much as feels good. As soon as you start to struggle, you are out of your practice.
Meet yourself where you are and accept yourself as enough. There’s no pushing or striving, there is only surrender to the moment, to your body, to your breath.
The gift of being present and noticing what is
As a Type A recovering perfectionist, being still was not always in my wheelhouse. I was always physically on the go, and mentally, I was all over the place. As long as I kept moving, I didn’t have to feel.
Yoga has gifted me stillness. Holding the poses and noticing my breath brings me into this moment, so that I can let go of all other moments. Regret and shame live in the past. Anxiety lives in the future. In this moment, there is only peace and my breath. This is the only moment over which I have any control.
When you stop moving, you start feeling. It is only then that you can let go of what’s holding you back. Constant movement keeps things bottled up until you explode. When you notice your thoughts and feel your feelings, you can release them and they lose their power over you.
Feelings are information. Once you receive the information, the emotion dissipates and you are left feeling calm. We tell ourselves “I can’t start crying because I’ll never stop,” but that’s only a story. If you give yourself the opportunity to feel, you’ll find that after a minute or two, the feeling passes.
The gift of accepting myself as I am
Life is full of comparisons. Advertising makes you to feel like you’re not enough, but if you buy this thing, you’ll be better. Yoga teaches you to accept yourself as you are, with no need to fix or change anything.
Your body is perfect, even if you have “insulation” over your 6 pack abs, like I do. Your joints are to be loved, even if they don’t move like they once did. You are worthy of love and belonging just as you are. Your “flaws” are what make you unique and beautiful. You are enough, just as you are.
Holding onto other people’s expectations of who you are or what you should look like drives many industries. What if you could love yourself just as you are? What if you didn’t need to be 20, white, and skinny? What if you could fully own and embrace the body that you have, no matter what that looks like?
This is a gift that yoga has given me. All of my quirks and idiosyncrasies are what make me me. When I finally accepted myself and stopped worrying about what other people might thought of me, I felt at home in my body and myself. Feeling at home in your skin is an incredible gift.
The gift of letting go
I was an anxious kid and young adult. I was always worried about what other people thought, if I was enough or too much, if I was going to be late, if I was going to fail, the list goes on. My focus was often on things over which I had no control (the essence of anxiety).
When you have no control, all you can do is worry. Worrying feels like you are doing something when there is nothing you can do. Of course all you’re doing is spinning in your head. When you can control things, you have peace. I can only control me. You can only control you. That’s the end of the list, unfortunately.
Focusing on what I can control (my body, my breath, my actions, my responses) has helped me let go of all the things I can’t control (everything else). There is a deep sense of calm and groundedness that comes with letting go. It allows you to be with what is.
The gift of being in the body that I have and loving it.
Aging is no joke. I’m 53 and definitely don’t have the body that I had in my 20s. I like this body better, for many reasons.
I can age and my body can change, and I can accept these changes. I can have a strong core without visible 6 pack abs. I can have feel stable on my feet and move easily through the world. I don’t need to look any particular way. I can embrace the “wisdom sparkles” in my hair, and the crinkles on my face. They show a life well lived.
My body doesn’t do all the things it did when I was 23 (although it can still do many of them!), but I can embrace the needs of my body now and honor them. I can move in ways that feel good without worrying about what I look like. My worth is not in my outsides. My worth is in my mind and heart.
Give someone you love the Gift of Yoga this Holiday Season. Maybe that person is you!
Yoga on the mat:
Practice yoga with me Monday-Friday live online, or on demand whenever your schedule allows. I offer classes for active adults over 50 who want to build strength, improve balance, increase mobility, and let go of what no longer serves you. Click the button below to see the full schedule of classes. Drop ins welcome, packages and subscriptions available!
Yoga off the mat:
I wrote 2 books about taking your yoga practice off the mat and into your life.
Living Yoga: One Yoga Teacher’s Journey to Surrender goes through the Yamas and Niyamas, the first 2 limbs of yoga. Through stories and humor, I explore these yogic principles one by one, with journal prompts at the end of each chapter to help you take your yoga practice off the mat and into your life. Learn to live with kindness toward yourself, mindfulness, and freedom from stress and anxiety.
Intentional Eating: Finding Peace and Balance in Your Relationship with Food takes these principles and applies them to how you look and food. If you’ve ever struggled with your relationship with food, this book will help you see food and yourself in a positive light. Journal prompts help you get to the bottom of your regretful eating so that you feel more in control over your eating habits. The 6-week online coaching program of the same name starts at the end of January 2026.
