What Happens When You Decide that Rest is Good?

As a Type A recovering perfectionist, “rest” wasn’t always in my vocabulary. If I wasn’t moving or doing something “productive,” I was asleep.

In my 20s I used to have every moment of my day scheduled and I was always on the go. I was living in New York City at the time and bought roller blades so that I could get around the city faster. I was dancing, practicing yoga, and teaching swimming, so clearly wasn’t active enough… I always felt a stigma around resting or quitting something, seeing it as lazy or not good being enough in some way. Someone who quit did so because they weren’t “good enough” to continue, and someone who rested was “lazy.”

Of course none of this is actually true, but this was my deeply held belief for much of my teen years and early adult life.

Why “Quit” and “Rest” are good

You can’t do “all the things” unless you rest. Rest can mean sleep, but it can also mean non-doing.

I remember at Summer camp as a kid we always had “siesta” after lunch. You didn’t have to sleep, but you had to rest. You could write letters home (long before email existed), read, draw, anything quiet and relatively still that you could do on your bunk. As long as you were sitting or lying down and quiet, it counted.

Rest

Rest is something that relieves you from exerting. Maybe you read a book, paint, draw, or knit. Do something that requires little physical or mental effort, and nourishes or replenishes you in some way. Napping is also fine if you require more sleep. 

I don’t recommend Meditation when you need rest. Although you are physically still, the concentration required makes it less restful. If you’ve ever tried to meditate while you are tired, you might know what I mean. Meditation is calming, but not necessarily something to do to rest.

Quit

The word “Quit” tends to have a negative connotation. In our production-centric society, quitting often means giving up, failing, or losing in some way. What if instead, you equated quitting with pausing?

The pause could be temporary or permanent. You can take a break or walk away completely. There is no failure or judgment in pausing.

Pausing gives you control over the moment and over yourself. In that moment of pause you can think, make better decisions, talk yourself out of something, or just breathe. There is power in the pause that can lead to resting, quitting, or acting, but all done with mindfulness and intention.

Maybe you quit for the day and start again tomorrow, maybe you quit forever. Quitting something, no matter how permanent, might be exactly what you need for your physical and/or mental well being.

The Benefits of Taking a Pause

Notice your self talk when you Quit or Rest

When life feels difficult, stressful, and overwhelming, that’s the perfect time to quit and rest. What happens in your mind when you stop moving and step off life’s treadmill?

What is your self talk when you can’t handle whatever has you at your breaking point?Do you compare yourself to others who can seemingly do it all? What are the stories that you are telling yourself that prevent you from resting?

Notice these thoughts and ask yourself are they actually true. Typically they aren’t. Somewhere along the way you (like I) picked up these beliefs that resting is weakness and quitting is failure. I’m here to tell you it’s all bullshit. 

We are human beings, not human doings. We have feelings and limited energy resources that don’t last forever without resting and refueling. If you go-go-go until you drop, you are slowly using up your reserves (been there). It’s much harder to bounce back when those reserves are gone. Living on sugar, caffeine, and adrenaline will only last you so long, and eventually you will feel like garbage warmed over.

Make yourself a priority

When you make yourself a priority, you will prioritize sleep and rest. Put your work down every evening and let it go until the next day. If you have a high pressure, high stakes job, give yourself permission to turn off your body and mind, even for just a few minutes each day.

💜 Put down your phone and close your laptop.

💜 Close your eyes and breathe.

💜 Practice a restorative type of yoga, draw, or paint. Meditate if you have the mental energy to do so. If not, just breathe.

These activities give your body and mind a chance to pause and restore those valuable energy stores that allow us keep doing “all the things.” 

You only have one life. You deserve to feel good while living it.

Practice

Find 5 minutes every day to turn off your brain and rest. If you can find more time, even better, but start with 5. This should not feel overwhelming. If you need to start with 1 minute of doing nothing, 1 minute it is. 1 minute is better than zero minutes and it’s a great start.

If you struggle to find 1 minute a day for yourself, I invite you to look inward and you may notice that you are not a priority in your own life. It’s common to put everyone else first ahead of yourself. I recommend that you put yourself first, if only for a minute. Unless it’s your job to put someone’s heart back into their chest to save their life, whatever it is can wait for one minute.

• Sit or lie down.
• Notice your breath.
• Listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast.
• Do gentle stretching that takes minimal effort but feels good.
• If you struggle to rest, journal about it. Ask yourself “Why do I not deserve to rest?” and see what comes up. You could also write about what resting means to you. It might have negative connotations of which you are unaware. Often these are based on messages we receive as a child, and aren’t actually true. It’s always helpful to uncover these messages so that you can let them go.

There is no right or wrong thing you can do, as long as it feels peaceful to you. This is not the time to take a power walk or get your heart rate up. If anything, think of activities that lower your heart rate.

You deserve to rest, no matter who you are or what you do. If you are a human being, you require rest. Honor your humanity and rest.

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Meditation calms the nervous system and helps you slow down. Sometimes you don’t even know how tired you are until to try to meditate. Meditation helps you check in with yourself and notice how you feel. When “busy” is your default, meditation can help you reconnect with yourself.

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