3 Ways to Shift Your Mindset Toward Health

It will feel better than any diet ever did

In the yoga world, many people start practicing yoga for the “yoga body” and if you are on any visually oriented social media platform, that’s a lot of what you see: young, predominantly white women who are thin, flexible, and standing on their hands or heads.

Unfortunately this perpetuates the idea that yoga is only for young, thin, white women. The fact that yoga started in India as a practice for men and boys is somehow lost in translation. Yoga is a practice for ALL bodies: male, female, young, old, flexible, stiff, able to stand, unable to stand, every body is a yoga body. And yoga can be practiced both on and off the mat.

As a female who survived the 80s and 90s, I have seen many diet and exercise fads come and go (Ab Roller or Taebo anyone?). The push to be young and thin (and have a “yoga body”) is still pervasive and, I think, threatens both our mental and physical health. How many diets have you suffered through to try to be thin rather than focusing on health?

There are many problematic myths surrounding health and diet:

1. Thin equals healthy

This is 100% not true. So many diet companies push foods that are filled with artificial chemicals rather than encouraging you to eat actual food. Our bodies were made to consume food, not chemicals. \

There are many people with larger bodies who are healthy according to their blood work, and because they eat well and exercise. They are not thin, but they are healthy.

There are also plenty of people who are thin, who eat fast food and drink soda and are anything but healthy. Thin does not equal healthy; you can’t judge health by one’s outer appearance.

2. Diets help you lose weight

If you are trying to lose weight to become “healthy,” every diet you try will work for awhile, but is not long lasting, nor is it necessarily healthy. As soon as you stop following it, all the weight you lost will come back, and often even more.

Unless you follow a diet that is sustainable for the long term, meaning a diet that is focused on health rather than weight, you will continue to yo-yo up and down. This is not great for your health. Nor is starving yourself or depriving yourself in order to be thin. Focus on health, not the number on the scale.

3. Hunger is bad

Actually, hunger is a sign of health. Many people struggle with the idea of being hungry, because they feel that if they are hungry that is somehow a moral failing. Diet culture has us thinking that our body doesn’t know what it’s doing.

However, when you feel physical hunger, that growling in your stomach, that means that your blood sugar is getting low and you need food to replenish yourself to keep up your energy. Your body is telling you what you need, and when you listen, the hunger goes away.

The problem is that many people confuse emotional hunger with physical hunger. I wrote about that in my essay “Why Do You Eat?” No amount of food will sate emotional hunger. Hunger isn’t bad, you just need to know what to do about it.

Focus on Health

Focusing on health, rather than weight, is always the way to go. When you focus on eating foods that are good for your body, you will find a healthy weight. You may not look like a movie star (more on that in a bit), but you will feel better in your skin.

As someone who has struggled with food my whole life I get it. I have been an emotional eater for as long as I can remember, trying to feed my emotions with food. What I have learned is that no amount of food will feed that kind of hunger. Physical hunger abates with food, emotional hunger doesn’t. Emotional hunger needs to be felt, not fed.

Shift your Mindset

There are a number of mindset shifts that I have made over the years that have really helped me tame this cycle of diets, false beliefs, and feeling shame about my body. I can now accept the body that I have, just as it is, even as I age.

Many of these mindset shifts are based on what I have learned through practicing yoga, meditation, and journaling.

1. Feel your feelings

When you eat your feelings, you are attempting to change how you feel by suppressing your emotions with food. This is the general rule with addictive behavior. I don’t want to feel X so I will eat/drink/do Y to feel a different better (in theory). With emotional eating, the biggest problem is that your feelings are still there, but now you are a bit more full (or much more full).

I have times when I feel “hungry” so I keep eating, but my stomach is so full that it’s ready to burst. That’s when I need to pause and feel. This type of hunger is not actual hunger and that’s why it doesn’t go away when I eat. This hunger is not usually felt in your stomach, but is a gnawing somewhere else. It might be in your chest or throat. It might feel like a pit in your stomach, rather than an emptiness.

When you pause and feel your feelings, they rise, peak, crash, and dissipate. And then they are done. This process will change how you feel so there is no need to eat. It takes practice to feel your feelings. It’s not always easy, especially if you have spent a lifetime numbing, like I have. Feeling your emotions can be challenging at first, but I promise you won’t die from them; your discomfort will only last a little while.

Practice

When you start to reach for the pantry or refrigerator door, pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths and feel your feet on the floor. Tune into your body and notice where the discomfort is. It might be your chest or throat or somewhere else. If it’s actual hunger, eat something. If not, pause and breathe.

Give this discomfort space to exist. Keep your breath flowing, don’t hold it in. You might find it useful to place your hands gently over the uncomfortable spot to acknowledge and hold it with loving hands. Continue to feel your feet on the floor as you breathe, creating space for this discomfort. Don’t try to push it away, let it be.

After a few minutes, you may notice that the sensation has subsided and you can walk away from the kitchen feeling more whole in your body.

2. Love yourself as you are

It can be a terrible cycle: you are mad at yourself for something you did or didn’t do and you feel shame about it. You eat to stuff down the shame and you feel worse. Then you feel shame about eating when you weren’t hungry and you figure you might as well eat the whole thing and feel really bad. And around you go.

Maybe you look at yourself in the mirror and you are critical about what you see. You don’t look like the people on Instagram or on TV so there must be something wrong with you. You decide that you aren’t ______ enough (you get to fill in the blank) and therefore despise yourself in some way.

What if you could accept yourself just as you are, with no need to fix or change anything? Nobody is perfect, the perfect body doesn’t exist without some extreme dieting and exercise, and sometimes Photoshop (not sustainable, realistic, or healthy). That’s why movie stars hire personal trainers, chefs, and nutritionists before filming. It takes a lot of work to look like they do, but they don’t look like that all the time.

Plus, aging has been vilified in the media. Somehow no one is supposed to age, yet we start aging as soon as we’re born. Lots of industries make lots of money off of people trying to resist the aging process (hair dye, botox, under eye cream, etc). Loathing every grey hair and facial wrinkle only makes you hate yourself for doing something that is completely natural, and outside of your control.

Aging is completely natural. Repeat this to yourself every day, multiple times, anytime you feel like you shouldn’t look or feel the way you do.

Accepting yourself and your body just as it is guides you toward loving yourself. Embrace the “wisdom sparkles” in your hair and your smile lines. Embrace the “insulation” that you have over your 6-pack abs (we all have those abdominal muscles, they just might be hidden from view). All bodies are beautiful. Let’s normalize having human bodies.

Practice

Take out your journal, or a piece of paper, and write down three things that you are grateful for regarding your body and why. Maybe you are grateful for your legs taking you everywhere you need to go. Maybe you are grateful for your lungs that breathe for you even when you are not paying attention. Can you be grateful for the creases by your eyes that show you’ve smiled a lot in your life?

Try this exercise every day, finding gratitude for different parts of your body each day. The more you focus on what you like, the less you’ll notice what you don’t. Before you know it, you’ll be able to love your body just as it is.

3. Listen to your body

I have written about listening to your body when practicing yoga, but I want to discuss listening to your body when you are off the mat. What you learn on the mat you can take off your mat and into your life. Listening to your body is no different.

When it comes to eating, listening to your body will tell you when you are hungry, and when you are not. You can notice when your hunger is physical or emotional. You can feel if, instead of hungry, you might be tired, bored, angry, sad, worried, excited, or something else. You can feel when you’ve eaten enough.

When listening to your body you can determine which foods feel good and which don’t. There is no one perfect or “right” way for everyone to eat, so you need to be a bit of a detective to find out which foods serve you and which don’t. When you eat a particular food and feel bloated and fatigued afterward, your body is telling you that this is not the right food for you. If you eat something and feel satisfied and energized after, this food is good for your body.

There are no inherently good or bad foods that were grown on a farm or caught wild, but there may be some foods that are good or bad for you. Listening to your body will help you suss that out.

Practice

Start paying attention to how you feel after you eat. How do you feel after eating grilled chicken and broccoli as opposed to when you eat pasta with meatballs? What about when you eat rice and beans vs a steak? When you pay attention, you’ll determine the best foods for your body.

Some people thrive on a vegan or vegetarian diet, some do better with consistent animal protein. Some people feel great with lots of whole grains, some feel better without grains. You get to determine what feels good in your body simply by noticing how you feel. Writing things down can help you keep track.

Small group support

If you are looking for more support, Intentional Eating: Finding Peace and Balance in Your Relationship with Food starts in October! This 6 week program will give you more confidence and control over your eating habits. Using principles of yoga and brain science, you will learn tools to regain power over yourself to make the best decisions for you.  

This program will support you to find more peace and ease in your relationship with food and with yourself. This is not a diet, but a mindset reset.

Discover the messages and beliefs that are holding you back from feeling comfortable with food. Learn what drives you to eat when you are not hungry. Understand your behaviors without shame or judgment, so that you can let them go. Discover how to make the best choices for you to support your body and mind, and nourish your whole being.

We start Wednesday, October 16. Weekly meetings will be over Zoom from 7:30-8:30pm ET. This program is limited to 5 people to encourage sharing and individualized support.

Click the link below for more information or to sign up!

Sign up for Intentional Eating