What Does it Really Mean to “Be Present?”
The phrase “be present” is tossed around a lot these days, especially in yoga and meditation spaces, but what does it really mean? If you’re not in the present all the time, where are you?
We spend many years in school when we are young learning how to think, how to analyze, and how to look at things critically. We don’t, however, learn about how the mind works, and why we do the things we do.
Over the last almost 30 years practicing, studying, and teaching yoga and meditation, I have learned a lot about the mind and it’s neverending ability to reveal, uncover, and understand new things about myself and how I see the world.
Interplay of Past and Future
Being present brings the mind into this moment. It’s not as easy as it seems. The mind likes to wander to the past and the future, fully avoiding the present.
If you have ever felt anxiety, that is your mind flying off into the future, focusing on things over which you have no control. The “What if” game, as I like to call it, sends your mind hurtling into the future to “troubleshoot” what could be. What if this happens or what if that happens? What if nothing happens? When your mind is in the future, you feel uncomfortable because there is nothing you can do. You can’t control the future.
The future may never come or behave the way we anticipated. Maybe it will rain and ruin the picnic you’ve been looking forward to. You might get sick and not be able to visit Aunt Nancy. You can prepare for the future and take precautions (have a rain date, wear a mask leading up to the visit), but the precautions are in the present. What happens in the future is unknown.
If you’ve ever felt regret or shame, that’s your mind getting stuck in the past. You also have no control over the past, it already happened. Thinking about the past, or trying to relive past moments also doesn’t feel good, because you can’t fix or change anything. It’s done.
Even if the past moments were wonderful, you can’t go back there. You might feel grief or sadness about losing that past moment. Right now, there is nothing you can do.
No matter how many times you replay it in your mind, you will still have said or done the stupid thing. No amount of ruminating over it will change that particular fact.
Being Present
The present is the only time we can control. The past already happened, the future may never happen, all we have is the present moment. So why is it so difficult for us to be present? That’s really the question, isn’t it.
Being Present means trying to keep the mind in the moment that you are actually in, rather than mentally “traveling” forward or backward in time. This moment is the only moment we can control. We have agency here. You carry out all plans in the present. Even preparations for the future happen in the present. Apologies for the past happen in the present. This moment is all we have.
So how do you train yourself to be present? That’s what yoga and meditation are all about. They teach you to be in the moment, which helps you enjoy the life that you’re living.
Mind Myth
Of course the mind never stops. If there is not enough happening right now, the mind will try to occupy itself with other things. From a survival standpoint, the mind is always scanning and assessing for danger. If there is no physical threat, that’s when you might get stuck in the loop in your mind. What if there is a threat in the future? Remember that threat in the past? It’s ongoing.
One of the myths about meditation that I “bust” in my eBook, “3 Myths About Meditation and Why It’s Easier Than You Think!” is that you can’t clear the mind. Fully clearing the mind is not a real thing for most people, nor is it the goal of meditation. Through meditation, you learn to let go of your attachment to your thoughts, but they are still there.
The thoughts come in and they go out. There might be more space between the thoughts, but they never fully disappear. Perhaps they are quieter, gentler, and softer, but the mind continues to work, process, and think. That’s what it does.
Noticing your thoughts is one way to be present. You are noticing what is happening right now. Thinking, breathing, feeling, these are all happening right now. Focusing on these things helps bring your mind into the moment where you are. It allows you to let go of catastrophizing about the future or rueing the past. In the present there is only peace.
Practice
Bring your attention to what is happening right now. The breath is usually a great place to start since (ideally) we are always breathing. You don’t need to breathe in any particular way, just notice how your body breathes.
- Where do you feel the breath happening in your body?
- What is the temperature of your breath?
- What other parts of your body move as a result of your breath?
Tune into the sensation of breathing. Let go of the words in your mind and just feel. Imagine a giant volume knob and turn it down, silencing the words in your head. Feel the breath, rather than describe the breath. Witness the breath as it happens.
This practice trains your mind to stay in the present moment, but it can become easily distracted. This is a common time for it to wander to the past or the future. When you notice your mind wandering, come back the breath and start again.
It’s the repetition of this practice that helps the mind stay present. Over time, there is more space between the thoughts, and longer periods of being with your breath. It’s like strengthening a muscle, the more you practice, the stronger your ability to be present.
That doesn’t mean that everything in your life will be happy and pleasant. Sometimes we have to do and experience hard things. But when you can stay with them, feel them, breathe into them, you can experience all the of richness and color that your existence as a human has to offer.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~Ferris Bueller
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